I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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