You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
