no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
