true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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