i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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