This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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