he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
