Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
