Buhtt sex?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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