Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize