I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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