So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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