he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
