My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
