I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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