Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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