brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's blow job season.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
