very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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