FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
