i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
