good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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