you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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