Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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