Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just had sex on a roof
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
