Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
