He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
