Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
