it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
