I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
