This girl is more easily done than said...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
