do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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