i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
