Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
