I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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