in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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