i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
