is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
