ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
