Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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