All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
