Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
