So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize