I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
