Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this will be a night to untag.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
