You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
