How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
