He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
