We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
