I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
