he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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