im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
