Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
